Life Skills Your Students Should Master – Part 3: Healthy Communication [Episode 167]

Lauren 0:00
We’ve talked about budgeting and time management as our first two important life skills. So where does that bring us for number three? Healthy communication skills. I almost called it conflict resolution skills, because I felt like that was really important, but I went with a more all encompassing term. If you missed our first two episodes in this series of life skills every high school student needs to master, or at least be familiar with before they leave high school, head back to the last two episodes of High School Counseling Conversations to listen. I’ve linked them in the show notes, but you can just as easily head back to the show and binge them in order.

Lauren 0:38
You got into this profession to make a difference in your students’ lives, but you’re spread thin by all of the things that keep getting added to your to do list. I can’t create more hours in the day, but I can invite you into my counselor clique where you’ll finally catch your breath. Come with me as we unpack creative ideas and effective strategies that’ll help you be the counselor who leaves a lifelong impact on your students. I’m Lauren Tingle, your high school counseling hype girl, here to help you energize your school counseling program and remind you of how much you love your job.

Lauren 1:10
Healthy communication skills find themselves presenting as important in our homes, in our schools, in our workplaces, in our relationships, and literally in everyday interactions with strangers and people we have to or get to encounter each day. When we get into communication skills, these definitely fall into the social skills of the behaviors in our ASCA mindsets and behaviors list. Man, when I read that column, it was just hard to pick one or two.

Lauren 1:36
If I were you and I was setting out to teach or nurture communication skills with my students, I just scroll down that list myself and pick the best two or three that correspond to whatever I was specifically teaching or kind of what outcomes I wanted to see. A lot of key characteristics in these social skills involve interacting with people who are different from you, possibly figuring out how to do that while you’re on a team, interacting in ways that are effective and meaningful, those are kind of like some of the themes. I’m confident that the ways that we choose to communicate with others will either set us on a trajectory that allows us to further positive relationships or cut us off socially from relationships that could be really life giving and fruitful, like we have a decision to make and a path to choose to go down.

Lauren 2:20
I think it’s important to keep in mind that we counselors probably have a very healthy perspective of how to communicate, what healthy communication looks like, how you’d respond when you found yourself in a really toxic place. At least, you’d probably be able to recognize these things. And we have students who very rarely have seen positive examples of this. Their norm may be something that we would tell them to run really far from, but they don’t have the skills to kind of sort through that.

Lauren 2:48
Sometimes the best and healthiest relationships they’re experiencing are at school. I just think like what a privilege it is to be able to speak into those and show them love and care and support in this way, by the way that we use our words to communicate with each other and care for each other.

Lauren 3:03
Healthy communication is important to practice, even when it’s hard or challenging or the other person doesn’t always seem to deserve it. You know what I’m talking about, even people who you love sometimes don’t feel like they deserve healthy communication from you because you’re getting a little frustrated. What do you do when you’re really frustrated on the phone with someone on customer service with a company, and you’re not getting what you think you fairly deserve? What if the store doesn’t seem like they’re honoring their return policy, but you didn’t even wear the shirt that you’re trying to return? I can think of a lot of justice situations that would fire me up and frustrate me, but you catch more flies with honey. So let’s talk about how to communicate in a way that gets your point across and is healthy, so that you can at least set the example for other people, whether you feel justified in the way you’re talking or not.

Lauren 3:54
Are you a new high school counselor navigating your role for the first time? Maybe you’ve started in this role mid year where you’re dreaming of getting your first job when you finish up your internship. I’ve got the perfect free resource for you. Head to counselorclique.com/newcounselorplaylist for a curated Spotify playlist, just for new high school counselors. This tailored resource will help you level up your counseling skills, boost your confidence and gain some wisdom that will ease your transition for your beginning years. With episodes like what I wish I knew as a beginning high school counselor to mistakes to avoid in high school counseling, you’ll be ready for anything that comes your way. Get ready to hit play on your podcast player and start your journey with confidence, inspiration and expertise. Head to counselorclique.com/newcounselorplaylist. Happy listening.

Lauren 4:44
My favorite way to practice communication skills with students is 100% role play and scenarios. It would be really hard to master strong communication skills without ever practicing any communicating to get there. With role playing scenarios, you could have them read full on scripts. You could have them pull scenarios from cards, like out of a basket or a hat. You could have a conversation starter and then somebody has to answer the question and then ask another question to somebody else in the group, or they ask another conversation starter to the next person. You could have challenging scenarios that really push them to have to troubleshoot, either individually or with a group think.

Lauren 5:22
Some of my favorite and most fun memories are seeing kids really have that light bulb moment from a really challenging social scenario card from some sort of classroom lesson I was doing where they had to communicate their feelings, or pretend like they’re talking to adults, sort out friendship issues or bring up something difficult with a boss. Even if they’ve never been in that scenario before, it really makes them think and kind of evaluate what their own values are, and practice saying something potentially hard. It always gets rowdy, and a lot of times they get stumped, but like in the best ways as they’re trying to come up with their answers for these scenarios or questions.

Lauren 6:00
You can probably think back to when you started as a high school counselor and you hated calling angry parents back. Or maybe that’s still you. I don’t know who loves doing that, but it just doesn’t go away just because you avoid it. You know you have to step into that, even though it’s messy, and inevitably, no matter how much you practice, it is still complicated, and so is every relationship and conversation, because we’re dealing with humans. You may never be perfect. I’m gonna be willing to guess you’re never going to be perfect, but the more you practice, the more confidence you can have as you build in yourself, some confidence and some more self awareness that you bring to the table.

Lauren 6:35
I’m saying this to us as counselors, but also like you can communicate this to students. The same way that we are building our confidence and self awareness, we want our students to have those same skill sets. We want them to build that self efficacy muscle like it has to be practiced and strengthened and master that self advocacy skill that’ll push them farther into successful relationships at home, work, school and into the real world.

Lauren 7:00
I’m going to link a few resources that I mentioned were my favorites, so that you can poke around and see what might be helpful for you and your students. Don’t be afraid to use chat GPT and get really specific for some scripts that can help you facilitate some really good conversations in terms of scenarios with your students around some of these topics. Go specific in each of these categories, and I think you’ll get something good that comes out of it.

Lauren 7:24
Let’s help our high school students not live with regrets of not practicing or mastering these three life skills sooner. Thanks for listening to this three part series all about some important life skills your students can be working on now while they’re still in high school. Those were budgeting, time management and healthy communication.

Lauren 7:42
The greatest two ways that you can show your support for this show are one, leaving a review on Apple podcasts. Yes, I’m talking to you. If you are listening and you haven’t left a review, go smash that five star button now and go leave a review in Apple podcasts, then hit the share button and share it with a friend. That’s the number two greatest way you can show your support. If you’re a pod listener, show the love. Don’t just be a bystander or consumer. You’re an active participant in where we take this show. So go be the counselor that does something about it. I appreciate it. I’ll see you next week.

Lauren 8:13
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of High School Counseling Conversations. All the links I talked about today can be found in the show notes and also at counselorclique.com/podcast. Be sure to hit follow wherever you listen to your podcast so that you never miss a new episode. Connect with me over on Instagram. Feel free to send me a DM @counselorclique, that’s C, L, I, Q, U, E. I’ll see you next week.