Noticing: A Spoken Word by Leah Grant [Episode 153]

Lauren 0:00
Hello, my favorite people. I know we’re coming off of National School Counseling Week. Whether people dropped everything to celebrate you or not, I think that that is pretty uncommon, but if it was you, I’m really happy for you.

Lauren 0:13
Even if that didn’t happen for you, I hope you at least feel seen in this place. Like, at least when you come to this podcast, you know that I care about you, and you are hearing something that resonates with you. The work that you’re doing is meaningful. The work that you’re doing is not invisible. You’re impacting students every single day. I wish I could be there giving you high fives and hot cups of coffee around every corner. I want to be cheering you on. I hope that this podcast continues to be an encouragement to you.

Lauren 0:43
This week is a special one. I’ve never done anything like this before. I have been in conversation with Leah. She is a listener and a high school counselor, and she shared with me a written piece that she wrote for another podcast, and that host read her piece on her very large podcast. It was really cool, and it moved me.

Lauren 1:04
I mean, I was like, Leah, this is amazing. I cannot believe you wrote this, and I’m so glad that this was shared. And it was on a podcast that had nothing to do with high school counseling, and people learned about what high school counselors do and the weight that you feel about the decisions that you make and the conversations that you have and what high schoolers are like every day. It was really cool. It gave me good insight. I know that it will be meaningful to you and move you as well.

Lauren 1:30
So instead of just having Leah write out her essay and send it to the podcast, like she did on the other one where that host read it, I thought that was really cool, but I thought we could take a different spin on it. I invited Leah to read her essay here on High School Counseling Conversations.

Lauren 1:48
I think this will be a unique way for you to just feel empowered and excited about your role and kind of laugh a little. You’re gonna listen to this and say, Yes, I know exactly what you mean, Leah, how are you in my shoes as well, which I think just helps us not feel alone as high school counselors. So go ahead and give a warm welcome, give a round of applause where you are to Leah, and she is going to share her spoken piece about high school counseling. Without further ado, I want you to listen to this piece from Leah and enjoy.

Lauren 2:25
You got into this profession to make a difference in your students lives, but you’re spread thin by all the things that keep getting added to your to do list. I can’t create more hours in the day, but I can invite you into my Counselor Clique where you’ll finally catch your breath. Come with me as we unpack creative ideas and effective strategies that’ll help you be the counselor who leaves a lifelong impact on your students. I’m Lauren Tingle, your high school counseling hype girl, here to help you energize your school counseling program and remind you of how much you love your job.

Leah 2:54
I’m beginning my 23rd year as a high school counselor, a career often mocked in sitcoms and movies, the career that feels the most underrated and misunderstood in K-12 education, and a job that has taught me how to truly live with intention. I wrote this one day after school, reflecting on what it’s like walking through the hallways in 2023 versus when I started my career in 2000.

Leah 3:23
Here’s what I notice. I notice a person’s breath changing. I see when someone looks down and away versus straightforward. I notice when they look up and to the left when they’re critically processing information, and when they look up and to the right when they’re not being truthful. I notice the subtle and not so subtle eye rolls. I see their face when they’re scrolling through their social media feed. I watch as they find something that interests them, and how they pause and ponder. In that second, I see them disengaged from their device and watch the neurons fire to make sense of what they just saw. I wonder in that moment if it’s something inspiring or something that makes them feel less than due to social comparison. I watch that happen at least 20 more times in a two minute span, wondering how it will affect them the rest of their day.

Leah 4:15
I walk through the high school hallways where I work and see most teenagers pacifying themselves with a device, versus bravely looking each other in the eye. I notice some staff members doing the same. I continually think about what they’re missing out on. Many are missing the acute, intense shot of human connection that we feel deep in our gut through eye contact, or a slight smile that makes our whole body tingle when the right person looks our way. I wonder when they allow themselves to feel that connection, if it feels scary and unfamiliar or warm and connective. I want to explain to each person I walk by who’s looking down that they’re missing out on the potential of that feeling, the feeling of being connected, the feeling of being alive.

Leah 5:00
I think about how lifeless images or a 30 second edited video on a device leave us. The contextless image can stick in our mind for days, leaving us with the opportunity to make up stories about it, and it often leaves us feeling left out of something. The image lingers differently and somewhat mysteriously.

Leah 5:22
I graduated from high school in the early 90s. The only comparison I can think of is when I got done looking through a magazine like Miss, Teen Beat, or Mademoiselle, and never felt better about myself afterward. The difference for my generation is that those images were presented to us once a day, two to three times a week. And I didn’t know any of the people personally in the publications. Because of that, the experience felt distant in a safe way. Now, kids can’t get away from it. It’s being fed to them at their fingertips hundreds of times a day. They know most people in their feed, making the fomo closer to home and more personal.

Leah 6:04
I notice students missing out on the practice of vulnerability, of walking with their heads confidently held high through the hallway, their world. And we wonder why kids are more dysregulated than ever? Really? They’re continually pacifying when they feel uncomfortable emotionally versus processing through it. The problem is that it sits with them all day like an unwelcome guest. They have no idea they’re missing out on the best part of being human, which sets us apart from all the creatures on earth, the ability to process the highest and most profound level and the beautiful space between.

Leah 6:44
So one by one as they sit in my office, I find the right moment to squeeze in my noticing and get their take on it. I never know who will walk through my door every day, every hour. Sometimes it’s a student who’s mid panic attack. Sometimes it’s a student who wants to talk about youth apprenticeship or college opportunities. Sometimes it’s someone who’s contemplating suicide, and sometimes it’s a student who can’t wrap their head around why their parents are getting a divorce. If my walls could talk, the general public would be in awe of what students carry with them every day.

Leah 7:18
Once they’ve bravely shared their story, I talk about the light still within them that may just be dim at the moment. I explain how it’s still within them like a small pilot light ready to be gently fanned so it can grow and engulf them again. I help them turn their wanting into giving. I help them understand their reaction to challenging situations is everything.

Leah 7:44
We talk a lot about what’s in their control and what isn’t. I encourage them to give what light they have left by sharing a simple smile, because small acts of kindness and service are the best catalysts for healing. I tell them to notice the reaction in someone else when they engage in this way, while digesting the other person’s response. That action is the moving air needed to bring the light back to them like a boomerang, one interaction at a time.

Leah 8:13
I ask if they feel like other students are drawing their life energy from the wrong source. They all say yes. We need to take out the middleman of the transaction in their lives, Snapchat and Insta Stories, and get back to direct human connection. When people ask me why anxiety is so high, I believe unprocessed emotions, discomfort and unpredictability are a big part of it. To combat it, I encourage students to practice vulnerability and kindness daily.

Leah 8:47
So that’s it. That’s what I notice, and one of the many strategies I use with students to help them feel more in control when they continually feel off track. School counselors pride themselves in confidentiality. Our role in schools has become a punching bag for society, and I’m not sure why. We need a master’s degree to step foot in a school. We’ll always be our students greatest advocates, while keeping them accountable, without enabling them. I’ll always try to notice every student to determine if they’re living their life muted or fully alive. I will continue to teach students about looking up and not fear vulnerability every chance I get and how that can lead to a life of fullness.

Leah 9:35
My greatest wish is that all adults would practice noticing as well, because we all know teenagers may not listen to our words, but are continually watching what we do. With so much hope and so much freaking love, Leah.

Lauren 9:52
So much freaking love. Now, wasn’t that the most encouraging thing? I have a smile on my face just sitting here listening to it. It felt very NPR ish, didn’t it? It felt like it would be the perfect pick me up for this point in February and this point in the semester. Thank you, Leah, for sharing that.

Lauren 10:10
If this resonated with you and you think of someone who would also enjoy it, would you do me a favor and hit that share button and share it with a friend? You can send it to them in a text message or shoot them an email with this attached to it. I appreciate you. I’ll see you next week.

Lauren 10:25
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of High School Counseling Conversations. All the links I talked about today can be found in the show notes and also at counselorclique.com/podcast. Be sure to hit follow wherever you listen to your podcast so that you never miss a new episode. Connect with me over on Instagram. Feel free to send me a DM at counselorclique. That’s C-L-I-Q-U-E. I’ll see you next week.